Have your cake and eat it

Decided to treat myself to a bannoffee muffin as a reward for spending the day in public with my children and not losing them (hooray!) or killing them (double hooray!) Made the mistake of trying to eat it on the sly in the car on the way home. Figured I’d be ok because they were in the back and I was in the front, right? No.

Me: *quietly breaks off piece of cake while sat at traffic lights and starts eating it noiselessly*

4yo: ‘What are you eating?’

Me: ‘Apple.’

4yo: ‘What’s that rustling sound?’

Me: ‘Apple wrapper.’

4yo: ‘Open your mouth!’ 

Me: *tries to swallow cake quickly*

4yo: ‘It’s cake! You’re eating cake! Can I have some!’

Me: *Hands over piece while mumbling profanities* 

This is the problem with teaching your kids to share, you have to do it as well.

Also, how the hell does he hear a wrapper rustling when he can’t hear me shouting his name repeatedly from the other side of the room?

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